Last night we lost Blue Bear. Blue bear was there from the beginning. My brother sent him over from Ireland with my mother for Matthew. When he was put in ICU for 7 days after his birth I couldn’t stay with him all day and night, but Blue Bear was there. Every day since then he has slept in Matthew’s arms and taken car rides and gone to the park and other places.
I went from room to room looking for him. Matthew was being a big boy – he said it’s ‘Ok mom, we’ll find him in the morning. I’ll just hold another bear tonight’. I believed him. But at about 4am I heard a wailing. Mark went down and was promptly padding all over the house looking for the missing bear. He was not found. Eventually Matthew calmed down and was able to sleep.
I got up at 8am and searched the house, car and yard for 30 minutes. No Blue Bear. Finally, when Matthew was up I made him re-trace his steps from the day before. He mentioned last time he saw Blue Bear was on the red sofa in the computer room. I went in there and looked on the window sill behind the sofa. The one place we hadn’t checked. I have never been so happy to see that bear!
I ran with him into Matthew. Matthew and I hugged Blue Bear. I pretended to be Blue Bear speaking and told Matthew how glad he was to have been found. This brought tears to Matthew’s eyes. He got all chocked up, so happy to have Blue Bear in his arms.
Through Blue Bear I see Matthew’s sensitive side. I see his compassion for his own. His loyalty and devotion. One day he will love his wife more, much more than this. She will be one lucky girl.
